News Flash: Babies cannot be created without sperm.
Guys, we have all been bombarded with the news of Planned Parenthood and their activities, and abortion is once again in the headlines. I am pro-life but I know many of you are pro-choice.
We are told that men have no right to even discuss abortion and that what a pregnant woman does with her body and baby is up to her and her alone. Some of you agree with that and some of you do not. That is ok because that is not what I want to talk about.
Regardless of what any of us think the laws should be regarding abortion we need to admit that passing laws will not fix the problem, any more than laws against drugs or guns stop drug use or gun crimes.
The problem isn't abortions, it is the unwanted pregnancies that make people seek them. And that is where we come in. There cannot be unwanted pregnancies without us.
Women often complain that this whole subject puts the entire burden on them. In many ways that is true, albeit for biological reasons.
It is time for the male population to step up and take responsibility for our part of this problem.
Look, we all get it. It is testosterone that commands the little head to disengage the big one and take over. Faced with that FINE YOUNG THING and the way that dress hugs those curves and our critical thinking skills vanish.
Get over it. We are going to have to start doing better than that. Nobody wants to face raising a child when you are not ready or for that matter having to deal with an STD. Sex can have very serious consequences.
Fortunately, we can avoid those consequences. We can decide to control ourselves.
In the past society used laws and social pressure and shotguns to ensure men lived up to their responsibilities. Those things have gone away, and they were never completely effective anyway.
We have also lost some wisdom along the way. By requiring that people marry before having sex society ensured that there was a loving relationship in place before babies were created.
That may sound quaint or old school but the truth of it is inescapable. Babies born to a loving couple are a blessing, while babies that result from a one night stand are often unwelcome and unfortunate.
We have to stop creating babies we do not want. That is not a moral judgement. That is not old fashioned or outdated advice. It is simply rational thought.
So, given our predisposition to fits of testosterone, how do we accomplish this? How do we overcome our natural tendencies?
Character. And rationality. The second part is easy. We don't want unwanted babies or STDs or shotgun weddings, so let's avoid them. And character is what will enable us to do so.
We have to start talking about this. To each other. Fathers must talk to sons. Brothers and friends and teammates and drinking buddies need to change the way we discuss sex. We have to change the paradigm.
Let's start with a little more respect for women. Let's drop the insulting language like the ubiquitous "bitches". Speak up when one of your buddies uses language that degrades women.
Let's stop celebrating the guy who tells the stories about his conquests. Instead of a high five ask if he used a condom. Ask him if he loves her.
I know. Not cool, right? Keep in mind drinking and driving used to be cool. Now, guys call each other out and remind each other how much they DONT want a DWI. The same should be true for a baby you are not ready for.
We have to talk to the ladies in our lives. We need to be on the same page about sex and babies. If you don't want kids you should agree not to create them. And then you can find creative ways to avoid that.
Fathers have to talk to sons. Make sure they not only understand biology but that they also understand morality. Make sure your expectations are clear. I realize how uncomfortable it is but we may need to discuss specifics.
If pregnancy occurs anyway, we need to step up. Too many of us just walk away and leave women hanging. That is unacceptable and as men we need to hold each other accountable.
It takes a long time to change attitudes in society, but it does happen. We may not be able to affect all of society but each of us can reach out to the other men in our lives and let them know how we feel.
We should not leave it all to women. Let's do this. Let's shift the paradigm.
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